no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
