So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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