Me. At least after what I've been through.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
