You smell like stripper and shame
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
