She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
