Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
