So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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