so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize