I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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