Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
