you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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