yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
