i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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