By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
