I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
two words: eviction party
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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