So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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