First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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