***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
