So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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