Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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