We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
