but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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