this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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