you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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