I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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