My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
