I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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