in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
