Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
