people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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