You're so nebulous sometimes
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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