dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Where is the hickey?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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