Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I hope mine doesn't look like that
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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