Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize