i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
