all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
