They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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