YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
