True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
