oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
