Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
