Tell her she can't have a vagina
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
