She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize