I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
