my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
