I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Pooping to opera.
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