I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
