he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
