the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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