And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
