whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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