matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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