My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
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