He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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