If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
