she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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