She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
